Your Kids Got Gratitude? Get Ideas and Inspiration for it HERE!

"Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy and change ordinary opportunities into blessings." -- William Arthur Ward

As parents, we desire that our kids appreciate what they have and are willing to be of service.  Awhile back, I sat down with my dear friends and colleagues, Ricardo Flores-Clar and Angela Woodrow for an amazing “Wise Parents, Wise Kids” video chat on this. 

We talked about fostering an “attitude of gratitude” and internalizing it.  Then we moved on to look at wonderful yet simple ideas for putting our gratefulness into action.   Listen in to hear, among other things, stories about a “High Five Fest”, a family in El Salvador who gives back to the homeless, and a magical moment when Angie’s kids invited their friends into their family gatherings.

“Gratitude should not just be a reaction to getting what you want, but an all-the-time gratitude, the kind where you notice the little things and where you constantly look for the good…”  --Marelisa Fabrega

Good habits become great traditions, fostering awareness and a spirit of gratitude.  If you do these things often enough, they become ingrained in who you are, even spreading outside the family to help make our world a better place.

I’ve got to say this is one of my favorite “Wise Parents, Wise Kids” video chats ever!  Not only will you come away with ideas, you’ll enjoy and feel inspired.  So grab your favorite beverage, a pen and paper, and JOIN US by clicking here:    http://bit.ly/2B8YvXX 

Important Tips to Help Your Kids Learn about the Election and Its Aftermath

Like many of you, my heart is heavy as we watch the upheaval this election has brought to our nation.  Now is the time to help our kids, those who are aware of what is happening, deal with any anxiety and learn from the historical events in play.  After all, they will be choosing our leaders in a few short years. Let’s look at several points to help overcome heightened emotions and to help us think through complex issues.

Find a quiet time and place to look at what is happening with your children, if they are interested in doing so.  Remind them that you will keep them safe.  Remember your thoughts and emotions are a big influence on your kids.   If your emotions are running high, try to let them abate a bit before talking, so your reasoning can come through.

Emphasize the Head AND the Heart.  While it is normal to get upset at election results that didn’t go your way, or protests that turn violent, now is a good time to also look at what we can learn from the entire electoral process and our political system.  This is a great time to learn about things like our current election process, the Electoral College, and how the transition from one administration to another will work, using reliable sources.  Here is an article that suggests some questions and responses for discussion:  http://parents-together.org/talking-kid-presidential-election/

Show them to take what they view in perspective.  Sound bites and headlines can be alarming and often are meant to heighten your emotions.  This “sky is falling” mentality from many biased members of the press is apparently what sells.  If one article or story is particularly alarming, looking at another trusted source or two can help downplay any sensationalism.

Be mindful of the type and amount of news content you and your family consumes.  Young minds soak up what they see and hear and can have trouble keeping things in perspective.  Make time to discuss what you choose to view to help with that perspective.  Look for any positives in what you are seeing.  And make “screen free” time to decompress and get life back to normal.

Ask your wise elders what they think.  They’ve seen many close elections and a fair share of unrest.  They also have seen how we often come out the other side just fine or having learned a few tough lessons.  Have them tell stories of previous memorable elections.  They’ve seen improvements in our society that we may not recognize and can also discuss changes they feel are needed. 

Seek to understand other points of view.  Our beautiful, complex society is made of many people of different races, religions, origins, and economic levels.  We are not a “one belief fits all” nor a "we all have the same struggles" society any more than “one size fits all” works for all body types. Seeking to understand why other people think like they do leads to a greater empathy and understanding for all.  The ability to identify what we agree on gives us a place from which to discover ways to better our great nation.

Look to your spiritual practices and beliefs.  Prayer, meditation, spiritual readings, and more all help us bring our minds and hearts to a higher level.  What aspects of spirituality help you get past negative emotions and learn and grow as a person?

And finally….

Seek help if you need it.  If you find yourself particularly distraught and have trouble moving back to “life as normal”, seek the support of a coach, counselor or minister.  Remember your struggles can impact your kids.  We are passionate about helping folks like you learn to move past troubling issues.

I believe in our great nation and the people that live in it.  The family – your family – is going to help bring us to an even better future.  Let’s get started by embracing what works and identifying creative ways to address what needs changing!   Join our community at www.FineTunedFamilies.com  and through our Social Media links in the website.

3 Important and Easy Ways to Foster Gratitude in Your Family

By Guest Blogger Angela Woodrow:

It is November….  a month to give pause and reflect on gratitude and gratefulness.

The dictionary defines the adjective ‘grateful’ as, “…feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness; thankful”.

The dictionary defines the noun ‘gratitude’ as, “…the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness”.

Practicing Gratitude and Gratefulness is an art and science. These are terms that get tossed around a lot. Fine-Tuned Families strives to give you useful tools and tips to help you parent smarter. So let’s break this down to thoughtful, useful nuggets to chew on:

The art is the practicing of the attribute; infusing it daily in to our lives meaningfully - not by automation.  The science is to know and recognize the action and to apply the action with thoughtful intention.

That is the theory behind how to Parent Smarter and live life by your design.  In our hearts and minds, we want our families to know and show gratitude. We want our families to be able to recognize and practice gratefulness.

Cultivating Gratefulness and Gratitude is a daily practice that, if forgotten or left to ‘automation’, grows weak or even worse, disappears.

Could you and your family increase your awareness and practice of gratitude and gratefulness this month? Think about this:  It only takes 3 weeks to make a new habit.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all ‘upped’ our gratitude quotient and began the New Year with a higher level of ‘gratitude competency’?

Here are three simple ways to increase your meaningful and intentional gratitude/gratefulness practice this month.  May it be a practice that continues with you and your family throughout the years to come!

1. Say ‘Thank You’…in complete sentences.

This is an important skill and element to ensure the practice is not an ‘empty habit’.

“Thank you for opening the door for me.”

“Thank you for bringing me my backpack, Mom.”

“Mark- thank you for picking up the extra ingredients at the grocery store today.”

Ask you family to make the effort to say ‘Thank you’ in complete sentences…watch and listen for the difference it makes.

2. Have a ‘Do Good Day’.

Target chores around the house the kids can earn money doing. The money they earn on that day goes to ‘sharing something with others’ - donating earned money to a food bank or homeless shelter or to another local community nonprofit.  Is money tight right now?  It does not have to be big or grandiose…the ‘Do Good Day‘ is meant to be sincere. Why not clean up and clear out the toys and books your kids have out grown and donate them to the local homeless shelter?

3. List out 5 things you appreciate or are grateful for each day.

The list can build on a sheet of paper taped to the wall. If you have one of those chalkboard walls allow your artists to record and decorate! Some families keep a gratitude journal. If life is really pulling you in 50 directions, post it notes made in the car that can be posted where all the family wash hands or hang coats is a great way to get started acknowledging your gratefulness!

Happy November, Happy Thanksgiving!  We wish you a Happy Fine-Tuned Family Journey!

Do This to Foster Gratitude In Your Children

Americans often bemoan how today’s children seem to have trouble thinking of others and appreciating their many blessings.  The upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday seasons are a wonderful time to reflect on what we are thankful for, as well as help our children adopt an attitude of gratitude. Numerous studies have shown that feelings of gratitude help adults and children to be happier and healthier. Here are some ideas for fostering gratitude in ourselves and our loved ones:

Model Gratitude in Word and in Action- As I’ve often mentioned, parents are their kids’ first and most important role models. Our kids are watching what we say and do and learning from it.  If we want our children to have an attitude of gratitude, we need to strive for an attitude of gratitude, and show them what that looks like. This can be as simple as regularly sharing with your kids what you are thankful for, acknowledging a thoughtful act your child performed, or making a point to sincerely thank and show gratitude to others when you are out in the world.

Have a Family Mealtime or Bedtime Gratitude Ritual- Take advantage of nightly routines to foster an attitude of gratitude in your family. Before or after eating dinner together, go around the table and have each family member share something they are thankful for in their lives. Or, invite each family member to share something they are thankful for before everyone goes to bed.  Blessings before family meals, or nightly prayers are also good times to tie in gratitude rituals.

Encourage Your Children to Start a Gratitude Journal- Encourage your child to write in a journal five things they are grateful for on at least a weekly basis. You might invite them at dinner to share some of the things they wrote in their gratitude journal with the family. If you have younger children who aren’t quite ready to write yet, encourage them instead to draw a picture of one or two things for which they are thankful.

Volunteer or Give to Others as a Family- You might make it a holiday tradition to volunteer as a family at a soup kitchen or local food bank, or work together to build care packages for those serving overseas. Another idea would be to have your children donate toys they don’t play with anymore and clothes they don’t wear or can no longer fit in. Afterwards, discuss as a family what the experience meant to everyone.  

The Power of Thank You Notes- Foster an attitude of gratitude in your kids by encouraging them to show their appreciation to others.  Talk with your kids about the people they are thankful for in their lives, and encourage them to write and deliver a few thank you notes to those people, whether it’s their siblings, teachers, bus driver, after school counselor, etc.  Along with their thank you note, they could even bake and give them cookies or other treats.

Help Your Child See the Thought Behind the Gift- When your child receives a gift of any kind, make it a point to remind them of the thoughtfulness that went into the gift, and encourage them to acknowledge the effort on the part of the gift giver. 

Christmas List Reversed- Encourage your child to brainstorm and make a list of the gifts they want to give others. These gifts aren’t necessarily intended to have a price tag, as they should mostly be handmade items or thoughtful acts.

Find the Positive in a Bad Situation- Another way to help children develop an attitude of gratitude is to model positivity in difficult situations. For example, if it rains during a family outing and your child complains, remind them that at least you are all able to spend time together as a family.

Earning Money for Gifts- Give your child opportunities to earn a bit of extra money in the weeks ahead.  They can use the money to buy some of the things they want. This will help them appreciate what they have more.

Start a Family Blessings Jar- An easy way for all of us to focus on what we are thankful for is to create a Blessings Jar. Set out a clear jar with scraps of paper and a pen beside it, and write “Blessings” on the jar. Encourage all members of your family to write down things they are thankful for, fold the paper, and put it in the jar. Together as a family, periodically empty the jar and read aloud the blessings in the jar and talk about them.

Fostering an attitude of gratitude in your children is a gift that can help them think of others and feel happier and healthier.  Now is a great time to have a family meeting to share these ideas and brainstorm others. As a family, you might choose a couple to focus on, especially during the rest of this year.  

What Is The Families of The Way Communication Series?

 As the primary teachers of our children, the sooner we strive to create learning opportunities and to pass on our hard-learned wisdom, the easier it is to positively influence who our sons and daughters become as adults.

One of the great offerings I am creating for Families of The Way is an interactive and engaging 8 part group study series called “Communication - God and Family:  Growing Closer to Loved Ones in Word and Action”.    A main goal of the series is to help us discover the answer to these questions and to help us set holy intentions of action, deed and thought:

-          How can I better communicate with my family so that my love of the Lord is evident in my daily actions, thoughts and words?

-          What actions will I take to embrace a communication or parenting concept and better demonstrate my faith journey?

Let me highlight a few key areas of focus for this engaging, interactive study.  The first is “Communicating with God”.  In order to fully model a good Christian walk, we need to focus on our own spiritual development.  During this session, we look at simple spiritual practices to deepen our knowledge of the Bible and our faith traditions, especially with our children in our homes. 

A second area of focus is “Communicating with Our Spouses and Other Key Adults”.  Our sons and daughters look to parents and other caregivers to be consistent and loving in the way they are raised.  We explore how parents and caregivers can learn to really listen and reach agreement when there are differences of opinion on how to handle difficult issues. 

A third area we explore is “Communicating With Our Sons and Daughters”.  As our children enter the Tween and Teen years, they will either turn towards us or look elsewhere when faced by life’s challenges.  This session focuses on how to encourage your son or daughter to really open up to you when he or she needs to work through issues.  We learn about and practice “Active Listening” and communication skills which help your child feel accepted and respected, and feel confident that you will be there to help regardless of the situation he or she faces.

This Families of The Way Communication Series can be offered in a church setting, where parents can find fellowship, support and encouragement to tackle the challenges of and embrace the beauty of raising children who are engaged in living a meaningful life and who know and love the Lord. 

What Can Lenten Sacrifice Teach Your Children?

Many Christian churches recognize Lent as a time of repentance, fasting and preparation for the coming of Easter.  This season and its practices often seem out of step in today's world that focuses more on comfortable living, self gratification and consumerism.

Why then, might we choose to teach our kids about sacrifice during Lent?  Let’s look take a look at some reasons that our sons and daughters can benefit developmentally and spiritually.  We will use two examples of a small sacrifice your child may choose - giving up electronics for one day a week or going without a favorite snack during Lent.

Developmentally:

1)  Building fortitude:  Choosing to make a small sacrifice such as one mentioned above might make your child feel a bit down, but doing it for several weeks can help him or her realize that it doesn't make him or her miserable.
2)  Strengthening the ability to delay gratification:  Being able to do without in the short term for long term benefit is key to achievement - in school and in life.

3)  Supporting maturation:  Eliminating something that one is holding too dear can help build new and better habits that foster development and spiritual growth.

Spiritually:
4)  Connecting:  Joining others in the Lenten journey can deepen the sense of connection with your church community.
5)  Sacrificing:  Helping build a sense that just as Jesus sacrificed for us, we can sacrifice in some small way as a prayerful offering for ourselves and for others.

6)  Suffering:  Helping our child further connect with our Lord, Jesus Christ, and the suffering he willingly undertook on the cross to offer us salvation.

7)  Celebrating:  At the end of our period of sacrifice, the Lenten journey can help us more fully embrace the joy of Jesus Christ’s resurrection on Easter Sunday.

What is the Families of The Way Ministry?

Gone are the days when parents can say a few prayers with their children, drop them off for occasional faith-building activities at church, and  reasonably hope their children will grow up to know and love the Lord and be actively involved in the wonderful family that is His church.

Parents are the primary role models of their children, yet many feel ill-prepared to pass on the love of Jesus Christ and a true appreciation for His church. In today's complex and challenging world, parents also need support to grow in critical family life skills.

The Families of The Way program combines and connects spiritual growth, daily faith practices and the strengthening of parenting, communication and other important life skills.  In a welcoming church environment, parents benefit from discussions and exercises that are relevant to their spiritual growth and to the mindful raising of their sons and daughters. 

We are also building an electronic network of like-minded Christian parents and other loved ones to pray, to discuss, to explore and to grow ourselves to better raise our children, who are our future here on earth, and to set their feet on the path to a never-ending relationship with God.

Please join and support us today by visiting https://www.facebook.com/familiesoftheway, hitting the “LIKE” button, and sharing your thoughts and prayers.