Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Are You or A Loved One Feeling Overwhelmed?


Created by Carolyn Pachas-Guest Writer
 
Are you and your family feeling overwhelmed? I have a story to share, and it involves Janet's wonderful mother-in-law, Gretchen, and my dear father-in-law, Jack. They lived full and beautiful lives. Let me tell you some things that Gretchen did in her lifetime. She gave birth to and raised 10 kids on a teacher's salary in Louisiana. She got a college education and became a fantastic teacher. She volunteered in her local church and in other community activities. She had time to be there for her kids, even into their married years, when they were having their own kids. Gretchen was an amazing woman. 
When Janet's kids were little, she felt overwhelmed.  Not only at what was going on when they were little, but at the idea that her and her husband were not going to be living near any extended family who could help them, and they had a tough road ahead of them. She had her business, and her husband had his full-time career. 

Here's something Gretchen shared with Janet decades ago that helped her shift her way of thinking. Gretchen said she lived her life in stages. The first 20 years of her life was about growing up and getting her high school education. The second 20 years of life, she met and married her sweetheart. They had 10 wonderful kids together, spending many years raising them. The next 20 years she went back to school, got her teaching degree and had a career as an educator. The next 20 years were her retirement years. 

Janet's family lost Gretchen earlier this year, and miss her dearly. She lived a long, full life. She did beautiful, wonderful things by accepting her own WISDOM, which is:

"You can do many, many things in life - You just can't do them all at the same time." 

If you try to do it all at the same time, it often leads to overwhelming, huge amounts of stress and big issues in your family. 



According to an article written by Daisy Wademan Dowling for the Harvard Business Review about working families, we should “Invest (our) time accordingly.” Working parents who have a clear view of what they’re working toward are more able to prune their calendars of commitments that don’t align and to spend time and energy on the things that matter and that provide real satisfaction (Wademan, 2018). 


My call to action for you today is to sit down and make a list of the many things you and your family members are doing. Take a hard look at it. Are you doing too much? What can you do? What can you put off? What can you let go of, that will create the space - the mental, the physical, the emotional space for you to reconnect as a family, and for you to be there. Create the space to be there for your kids, to love them and raise them the way you want to do. 

Carolyn Pachas-Guest Writer
 For Janet Bonnin
Family Growth Coach 


Janet Bonnin, Your Family Growth Coach, has worked with families since 2001 to deepen connections and improve communication, so all can lower stress and thrive.  Visit www.finetunedfamilies.com to learn how.
  
Wademan, D., (2018) How Working Parents Can Feel Less Overwhelmed and More in Control. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2018/01/how-working-parents-can-feel-less-overwhelmed-and-more-in-control

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